Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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