Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
