Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
two words...techno handjob
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
