let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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