btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
