I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
