You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
