I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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