There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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