please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
