I'm jealous of your bromance
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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