I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
