he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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