Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
