Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
