he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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