Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
