I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
pray to the hookup gods
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
