I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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