her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
