So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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