We named our party play list daddy issues
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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