I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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