I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
