My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
