No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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