Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
