There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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