Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
