Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
