he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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