U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
