Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
