so explain again why im purple
no
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
