Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
