when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
