feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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