And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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