If i come over, it means nothing
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
