Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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