so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
