careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I need to align my fucking chakras
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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