Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
