before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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