I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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