He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
