why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
