Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He better not be in your backpack
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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