I cockslap morals
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
