Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
