Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
