Say something about gay babies.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
